210A: kind of “charm school” in book form

I regret very much that I cannot recall the name of the book, and I do not know who the author is (but I’m pretty positive it was a female author). The book was one of a stash of books my grandmother sent to me one Christmas — I think I may have been about 12 or 13 years old. I was born in 1956 so that would be 1969, but my memory is weak, and I cannot recall precisely how old I was.

The book had pen and ink illustrations, and basically, it was a “growing up” book for young ladies or teenage girls. It dealt with good manners, proper etiquette, poise, appearance — kind of “charm school” in book form. I remember some of the passages: advice on what to do when you are a guest in someone’s home, how to address an invitation; how to properly rsvp to a wedding invitation, how to set a table, proper table manners, etc. — I even recall the instruction to leave some morsel on your plate when you are a dinner guest, rather than leave your plate completely cleared…..so as not to give the hostess the impression that you were left still hungry..!!). There was a chapter on good grooming, and the mention of an anecdotal story about a young secretary who, earning a meager salary, owned only one blouse, yet nevertheless took care that it was always clean and pressed….the young woman’s attention to her neat appearance eventually gained her the attention of her boss, who ended up marrying her.

I’ve searched for more than 30 years for this book — I did not own it for very long, as I was foolish enough to loan it to an irresponsible classmate who never returned it to me.. But having 3 daughters myself, I have often thought of this book and wished I could find it to share with them. The author’s writing style and language had a certain refinement that I do not find in the books that I’ve come across in my internet search for this particular book.

I’ll be astonished, and more than grateful, if my Stump the Bookseller inquiry is unsuccessful and you do actually locate this book for me.

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